Sometimes it's just more fun to dream when you're awake. Here is my plan for the Eagles this off-season:
March 11th, 2011
After a triathlon of dodgeball, sumo wrestling and tickle fights, the NFLPA and league owners are still locked in a negotiating stalemate. Both agree that a winner-take-all match of arm wrestling will determine who drafts the next CBA. Each side gets to pick from the other team.
Manning motions to a sleeping Jerry Jones in the corner, but NFLPA director DeMaurice Smith has already made up his mind, "Al Davis," he says smugly.
Davis rises from his chair, incensed at their confidence. "You forgot one thing," he says. He tears off his shirt and reveals a surprisingly ripped upper body. "The older we are, the stronger we become."
Manning leans over to Brees, "Is Al Davis a vampire?"
The owners deliberate in a tight huddle so as to not let their opponent know what they're thinking. They come to a surprisingly fast consensus. "Jay Cutler."
"No. I'm not doing it," Cutler pouts.
"Sorry Jay, you have to do it. That was the arrangement," says Manning.
"Well guess what Peyton? I'm not," Cutler pouts.
"Why do you have to be such a bitch all the time?" says Manning.
"Exactly why we chose him," says smiling Broncos owner Pat Bowlen.
After several hours of prodding, calling his mother and agreeing to take him out for ice cream after the negotiations, Cutler agrees to the match.
While Cutler is younger and in much better shape, Davis is a formidable opponent. Cutler's endurance is what gains the upper hand for the NFLPA. It seems like he's about to end the match when...
Davis summons every last ounce of old man strength and turns the tables on Cutler. Cutler is mere centimeters from being pinned when he realizes something. Davis died five minutes ago. Cutler pins him for the victory and the new CBA is signed.
Football will be played in 2011.
Free agents resigned
The two most notable free agents are Vick and Mikell. Both are resigned and both take under market contracts -- because this is my dream.
As for the rest of the team. Here is who stays and goes:
RB Jerome Harrison - stay
K David Akers - stay
P Sav Rocca - stay
DE Victor Abiamiri - stay
DE Darryl Tapp - stay
MLB Stewart Bradley - stay
OLB Akeem Jordan - stay
C/G Nick Cole - peace
G Reggie Wells - peace
OLB Omar Gaither - peace
OLB Ernie Sims - peace
CB Ellis Hobbs - peace
Extending Desean
The Eagles extend star WR Desean Jackson making him one of the top 5 highest paid players at his position.
Kevin Kolb traded
Kolb is traded to Seattle for a 1st (25th overall) and 4th round pick. Fans complain, but this is an excellent haul. The Eagles then flip their newly acquired first rounder to Miami for 29-year-old RT Vernon Carey. The team does not want a rookie protecting Vick's blindspot.
Nmandi Asomugha and Albert Haynesworth signed
Still way under the cap despite resigning Vick, Jackson and Mikell, the Eagles make Nmandi the highest paid cornerback in the league while Haynesworth decides to take less money to play for newly acquired DL coach Jim Washburn. He presents no problems to team chemistry and works hard to prove he's still an All-Pro (so realistic right?)
Eagles draft OG Gabe Carimi in the 1st
He's ready to play immediately and under the tutelage of new OL coach Howard Mudd, he should thrive in our system.
Rounds 2-7
The Eagles have 8 more picks and place specific focus on strengthening the depth at LB, S, OL and RB.
With my off-season complete the team is absolutely stacked to make a super bowl run. A quick look at the starters...
DEFENSE
CB Asante Samuel
SS Quintin Mikell
FS Nate Allen* (returning from injury)
CB Nmandi Asomugha*
WILL Stewart Bradley (Moved from MLB)
MLB Jamar Chaney
SAM Moises Fokou
DE Trent Cole
DT Mike Patterson
DT Albert Haynesworth*
DE Brandon Graham* (returning from injury)
OFFENSE
QB Mike Vick
RB Lesean McCoy
WR Desean Jackson
WR Jeremy Maclin
WR Jason Avant
TE Brent Celek
LT Jason Peters
LG Todd Herremans
C Jamaal Jackson* (back from injury)
RG Gabe Carimi* (rookie)
RT Vernon Carey*
*Not on the playoff team last year
