Lebron James plans to announce his decision on which team he will join next season (and for the next 5 years) on a humble public appearance deemed “The Decision.” Here is my liveblog of this ridiculous spectacle.
8:53PM: For the last three hours Sportscenter has speculated and respeculated about where Lebron is going. Personally I’d like to see a live feed of David Stern shitting his pants as Lebron signs with the Italian league for $400M.
8:58PM: Bob Holtz was just asked what kind of celebration there would be in Miami if Lebron signed there... probably somewhere between balloon animal clown and unadulterated flash mob.
9:01PM: Who is narrating the intro? You’re telling me with this budget they really couldn’t get James Earl Jones or Morgan Freeman?
9:02PM: Stu Scott just announced that there will be blanket coverage of this event (similar to blanket defense). Why isn’t the panel wearing Lebron James snuggies?
9:05PM: Only 2 other players in NBA history have switched teams after winning an MVP: Wilt Chamberlain and Moses Malone.
9:07PM: Lebron looks like a nervous farmer who accidentally slept with his neighbor’s underage daughter and is about to confront him.
9:11PM: Stop bringing up the Olympics like its and indication of how they’re going to play with each other.
9:17PM: Broussard, Wilbon and Barry are predicting Miami. On a related note, I’m going to vomit.
9:19PM: Lebron chose to air his Vitamin Water commercial during the special. Big Choice Water. Decision Water. Egomaniac water.
9:24PM: I really like interviews where nothing of substance is being said. So... all sports interviews.
9:25PM: Lebron just said he’s already told the team who he’s about to sign with. Jim Gray responds “The other 5 teams must be waiting on pins and needles.” I bet they are Jim Gray, now that they know they didn’t get a call. Idiot.
9:27PM: Miami. Fucking Miami.
9:28PM: Suicide rate in Cleveland tonight?
At this point I was distraught and had to make a few phone calls. I feel like I’m in a never ending nightmare where I’m being chased by David Stern’s wet dream down a long dark hallway. Lebron James is a Miami Heat. For the next five years the East is incontestable.
As a fan of history, the Finals match up is intriguing. Phil Jackson vs. Pat Riley (presumably). Kobe, Lebron, Bosh, Gasol, Artest and Wade on the same stage. Lots of personalities and story lines. My eyes would be glued to the television.
As a fan of the current state of the NBA this sucks. The sixers won’t be able to compete in the East no matter how good Evan Turner and Jrue Holiday become. Lebron’s legacy will forever be tarnished in my mind. Forget the comparisons to Jordan I was really hoping for. He’s now going to win Championships with 2 future hall of famers.
The most sickening part of this is that Kobe actually becomes more likable than Lebron.
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